Hot Slut Of The Day!

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The peaceful pink tulip who delicately bloomed on the ice after the men’s 1,000-meter speed skating event in PyeongChang on Friday!

Hmmm, I thought that 15-year-old Russian girl won the gold medal in women’s figure skating at the Olympics” is what you probably said to yourself after your eyes were gracefully brushed by the exquisite vision of a peaceful, love-spreading topless bearded ice dove in a monkey face dick pouch and pink tutu. But believe it or not, that tender winter pussy willow isn’t a gold medal-winning figure skater who makes it impossible for the judges to score him because they constantly get the stage 10 vapors and pass out every time he twirls. He’s a stage crasher who won the gold medal in attention whoring on Friday.

Ooce the men’s 1,000m speed skating event ended, the people in the audience were given a panty pudding-inducing grand finale performance in the form of a ponytail-wearing bearded beauty climbing onto the ice and stripping down to a pink tutu, Curious George’s cousin covering his frozen banana and “Peace + Love” written in a Sharpie on his body. The hippie crystal fairy was able to perform a nearly-impossible “single split, and bust that ass” move and other highly advanced tricks before he was taken off the ice by security. Allow Tchaikovsky’s Swan Lake to fill your ears and the tingles to cover your loins while watching this gorgeous frozen swan in action:

Haha..! Streaker gaat onderuit op de Olympische ijsbaan. Vanavond bij DWDD? #olympics #kjeldnuis #pyeongchang2018 #dwdd @kjeldnuis

A post shared by Maarten Kooij (@mhj.kooij) on

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Yahoo! Sports says that the spotlight-stealing ice ballerina is prolific streaker Mark Roberts of the UK. Mark has crashed hundreds and hundreds of sports events in 22 countries. He says he does it for the thrill.

The torch was supposed to be extinguished during the closing ceremony tomorrow, but somebody should check on it. The flame is probably already out. Bitch snuffed itself out after seeing that a brighter and more stunning flame of hotness lit up the Olympics (see: Mark Roberts).

Pic: Getty

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